Joe the Plumber vs. Dennis the Menace? Seriously?

I can see this coming from 100 miles away, streaking toward Cleveland on Route 2 like a drag race between a Ford pickup and a Prius. Everyone from Stephen Colbert to Fox News, from Politico to The Onion, will want a piece of this action. The most cartoon-colorful congressional race in the nation: Dennis "The Menace" Kucinich vs. Joe "The Plumber" Wurzelbacher.

Seriously, it could happen. Joe the Plumber announced his run for Congress this week. Laugh if you want, but the conservative media darling's name recognition seems to have scared Rob Frost, the Cuyahoga County Republican chairman, out of the race.

Now we are faced with the unholy spawn of Republican gerrymandering, a Frankenstein-monster district that has unnaturally stitched Toledo's peculiar politics together with Cleveland's. One congressional race. Two candidates whom the national media doesn't take seriously and who inspire political satirists to new heights of YouTube-able ridiculousness.

Only two things can stop it.

Joe the Plumber isn't running to take Dennis down. He wants to unseat Marcy Kaptur, Toledo's longtime progressive congresswoman. But the impending Kaptur-Kucinich primary is tough to call. Lots of people think Kucinich has the edge. Brent Larkin is the only person I've seen who's explained why Kaptur has a good chance.

Also, Democrats in Columbus have shrewdly used referendum petitions as leverage to try to force a compromise on redistricting and a new map fairer to Democrats. Negotiations might dismantle that ruthlessly gerrymandered lakeshore district.

I'm not going to get into whether Wurzelbacher is actually a serious candidate. Hey, the guy had the good taste to announce his candidacy at Tony Packo's, which wins him points in my book.

My take on the Plumber phenomenon goes back to his first minute of fame. Why is it that he becomes a hero, a celebrity, a political character, just for asking a presidential candidate a tough question?

Joe Wurzelbacher's life changed the day Barack Obama campaigned at a picnic in his neighborhood. Like anyone would, Joe headed over to see what was going on. Like any good citizen who doesn't like a candidate's politics, he got a second with Obama and challenged him.

Though he's a working-class guy, Joe is the type of conservative who doesn't much like progressive taxation. He told Obama that his tax plan -- to raise rates on people making more than $250,000 a year -- would keep him from buying a business. So John McCain championed Joe in a debate, leaving Obama to make the point that most plumbers don't make $250K.

I see why McCain would make Joe a hero. Populist solidarity with the rich is key to the Republican electoral strategy, no matter how illogical liberals think that alliance is.

My question is, why is it so rare to see a voter challenge a presidential candidate? It should happen all the time. We should expect them to face questions in unstaged situations. But hand-shaking and conversation are old-fashioned in an age of security cordons, nine-figure campaign funds, and stage-managed "town hall meetings." Once the candidates get past Iowa, New Hampshire, and the other tiny early-primary states, facing voters one on one is a rare thing.

You can just imagine presidential candidates' strategists looking at Joe's fame and saying, "That's it. After February, none of this 'regular people at a picnic' crap."

They don't want to risk a gaffe, or any cable-ready unscripted moment. But now it's more than that: They don't want to accidentally spawn a congressional candidate.

To read my profile of Kucinich, "The Missionary," click here. To see The Complete Kucinich, an archive of Cleveland Magazine's coverage of Kucinich's career, click here.

(Photo: Rona Proudfoot of Lorain, Ohio)

Obama in Cleveland

Barack Obama spoke to tens of thousands of people at Cleveland's downtown Mall this evening, from supporters who waited all afternoon to get close to the stage to football fans who stopped by after the Browns game.

Obama led with the economy. "The last things we can afford is four more years of the same old tired theories," he argued, "when no one in Washington is minding the store, so Wall Street goes crazy, and lobbyists block [needed] regulations." He acknowledged John McCain's break with George W. Bush on the issue of torture, but claimed that where the economy is concerned, "He hasn't been a maverick; he's been a sidekick."

Defending his tax plan, Obama took a shot at McCain's alliance with "Joe the Plumber" on the issue. He said, "99.9 percent of plumbers make less than $250,000 a year," which means their taxes would be cut, not raised, under Obama's proposal. "This is what they [Republicans] do in every election," he claimed. "They use ordinary people and make them afraid, so they can protect the fat cats."

Obama claimed his plan to stimulate the economy by spending federal money on infrastructure -- roads, bridges, rail, fiber optic networks -- would create 2 million jobs. He proposed spending $15 billion a year on renewable energy, which he claimed would lead to 5 million jobs (indirectly, he must mean, since that'd be $12,000 per job over four years).

He sounded like a New Democrat, a centrist in the Bill Clinton mode, when he pitched his program as a third way between old, false choices. "It's not about big government versus small government. That's the old way of thinking. We need a better government, a more honest government, a competent government." On Iraq, "We don't have to choose between retreating from the world and fighting a war without end."

He cracked some jokes at Dick Cheney's expense. "Yesterday, Dick Cheney came out of his undisclosed location. He hit the campaign trail, and said he is delighted to support John McCain." Not only did he use Cheney's endorsement to assert that McCain would continue Bush Administration policies, he got to play off the vice-president's dour public image -- he said it was "interesting to picture Dick Cheney being delighted."

Rain started to fall. Obama ad-libbed. "A little rain never hurt anybody. Sunshine is on the way. We've only got two more days of these clouds."

Update: The PD has a video of highlights from the rally.